In my moments of fear,
Through every pain, every tear
There's a God whose been faithful to me
When my strength was all gone
And when my heart had no song still
He was faithful to me
Every word He promised, is true
what I thought was impossible
I see my God do.
He's been faithful, faithful to me
Looking back, Your love and mercy I see
In my heart, I have questioned and failed to believe
BUT You've been faithful, faithful to me.
When my heart looked away
When my heart looked away
The many times I could not pray
still my God, He was faithful to me
The days I spent so selfishly, reaching out for what pleased me
Even then, God was faithful to me
Every time I go back to Him
He's waiting with open arms and I see once again.
Here is the YouTube video of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir's performance:
Through our adoption journey, the Lord has definitely been faithful to us....it was when we turned our desires completely over to Him, that I saw just how faithful He really has been to us.
As of January 1st, we've officially been waiting 5 months.....seems like 5 years to me. However, it has been 1 year since we began the adoption process of paperwork, praying, and waiting on the Lord's perfect timing to send our child home to us.
On December 29th, we got the call that what we thought would forever change our lives.....the call that we had been praying and waiting, praying and waiting, praying and waiting for the past 10 years. The Lord has a child for us and His timing is what makes it so special.
Back up to December 16th....snow day in the middle of December! Chad and I were both out of school for snow....While sitting on the couch watching Regis and Kelly....Chad's phone rang. "Ummm, I don't recognize the number, I wonder who it is???" When he answered....all I got on his end was, "yes," "okay," & "I see." Of course my curiosity was going crazy! I couldn't figure who it was until he said..."hold on a moment and let me put you on speaker." I almost dropped my teeth! I was like, "what's happening....this is all so sudden!" So, basically all we found out that day was that a birthmother from Tennessee had tentatively chosen us as adoptive parents for her baby who was due on February 28th---and it's a girl! The birthmother, Cristina, was adopted from Romania as an infant. She had gotten pregnant but was unsure of who the birthfather was. She has created the adoption plan because she wanted to continue her education at college and for her child to have a good Christian home. We were also told that she was meeting again with the Bethany Christian Services agency in Nashville on December 28th. After that meeting, Melinda, our adoption specialist, would call us back to let us know the outcome and if the birthmother has officially chosen us to adopt her baby. How weird is it that Melinda would call us when we are both out of school for snow and we are sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing??? It's not weird, it's the Lord working mysteriously.
How long would December 28th be???? It seemed like an eternity! We could hardly contain ourselves, but knew we couldn't say a word to anyone because anything could happen at that point....So, we do what all normal Disney lovers do....we go to Disney World for Christmas!! We were scheduled to return home on guess when...??? December 28th!
The morning of December 29th, we were so curious. I could hardly function. Melinda called us that morning to say that she had not heard anything from the Nashville office as of yet, but she would call as soon as she spoke with them. It was time for us to take down the Christmas decorations at church, so off we went. While we were there taking down the decorations on our own...each one of our mothers were to stop by at some point during the afternoon, but we didn't know when. At about 1:30pm, I heard my mom drive up...as I was running to let her in the church, my phone rang....it was Melinda, our adoption specialist. So, I handed the phone to Chad and ran to let my mom in the door...when I got back to the door...it was both of our moms coming in at the same time...coincidence? I don't think so. At this point, I'm trying to listen to what's going on with Chad's conversation on the phone and not to let our moms know what's going on...I looked at Chad, he looked at me and said "go ahead and tell them, we've been selected!!" So, I let our moms in on the super secret conversation!! I cannot tell you how ecstatic they both were. Melinda was still going on and on about all kinds of stuff...I don't even know what about by that point.
As it ended up, we had a meeting scheduled with the birthmom, Cristina, her mom, Gayle, and her twin sister, Ana on Monday, January 10th at the Bethany Christian Services office in Nashville. Now, do you know what was going on January 10th in Georgia and Tennessee? Snowmageddon! We drove up on the 9th to be sure we were there on time. Neither one of us could sleep that night...I've never thought of myself as the nervous type, but that night I was for sure. About 5-6 inches of snow had fallen when we looked outside that morning. However, our hotel was next door to the Bethany office--we could walk if we had to.
The meeting went really well. We left there with a weight lifted off our shoulders. Or, so it seemed. There were still a few red flags being thrown at us, but we were willing to risk them. After a treacherous trip from Nashville to Chattanooga, we decided to stay the night. Driving in the snow and ice was just too dangerous. The next morning we waited until 11am to venture home. An adventure it was for sure. We slipped and slid all the way home. But the Lord was in the truck with us because we made it home safe and sound.
The next week was so exciting for us....preparing our home for hopefully a baby girl! But, on January 19th, our adoption specialist, Melinda, called to say that the birth father has decided to have a DNA test once the baby is born. If the baby is his, he will parent! OMG!! My heart sank! When Chad called to tell me what Melinda had said....I couldn't function the rest of the day. I just sat and stared at the computer screen. But, that wasn't so bad....I told myself. The baby may not be his and if this is the baby the Lord has prepared for us...everything will work out. Fast forward to the next week....we went to Bethany to have a conference call with Christina's birth counselor from Nashville. Basically, we learned nothing new except that Christina had decided to keep the baby if the birth father decided to parent. It would be her only option to know her baby would be taken care of. So, with that...we were done. Ready to cut our losses and move on. I think we had both already made the break. To me, it was just the Lord's way of telling us this was not our child. One week later, on February 2nd, Sara, our intern adoption specialist from Bethany called to say Christina had officially decided to parent the baby. The Lord was with me because I wasn't that upset about it. It was the answer I wanted to hear to know for sure that this was not the baby the Lord has prepared us for.
The Lord is Faithful....so faithful. And, I know in my heart of hearts that He will give us the child He has prepared us for. I want to thank everyone for the continued support and prayers. We feel them every day.
The next post will be in a few weeks....I promise. However, I know it will be good news because My God is Faithful. Only He knows the plans for us.
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."
Habakkuk 2:3
The meeting went really well. We left there with a weight lifted off our shoulders. Or, so it seemed. There were still a few red flags being thrown at us, but we were willing to risk them. After a treacherous trip from Nashville to Chattanooga, we decided to stay the night. Driving in the snow and ice was just too dangerous. The next morning we waited until 11am to venture home. An adventure it was for sure. We slipped and slid all the way home. But the Lord was in the truck with us because we made it home safe and sound.
The next week was so exciting for us....preparing our home for hopefully a baby girl! But, on January 19th, our adoption specialist, Melinda, called to say that the birth father has decided to have a DNA test once the baby is born. If the baby is his, he will parent! OMG!! My heart sank! When Chad called to tell me what Melinda had said....I couldn't function the rest of the day. I just sat and stared at the computer screen. But, that wasn't so bad....I told myself. The baby may not be his and if this is the baby the Lord has prepared for us...everything will work out. Fast forward to the next week....we went to Bethany to have a conference call with Christina's birth counselor from Nashville. Basically, we learned nothing new except that Christina had decided to keep the baby if the birth father decided to parent. It would be her only option to know her baby would be taken care of. So, with that...we were done. Ready to cut our losses and move on. I think we had both already made the break. To me, it was just the Lord's way of telling us this was not our child. One week later, on February 2nd, Sara, our intern adoption specialist from Bethany called to say Christina had officially decided to parent the baby. The Lord was with me because I wasn't that upset about it. It was the answer I wanted to hear to know for sure that this was not the baby the Lord has prepared us for.
The Lord is Faithful....so faithful. And, I know in my heart of hearts that He will give us the child He has prepared us for. I want to thank everyone for the continued support and prayers. We feel them every day.
The next post will be in a few weeks....I promise. However, I know it will be good news because My God is Faithful. Only He knows the plans for us.
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."
Habakkuk 2:3
