The Wailing Wall...

So, here I am.  I thought it would be a wonderful thing to create a blog about our adoption process.  I knew I wanted to keep a journal of the emotional journey we are about to embark upon, so I thought I would share our story here with all of you.

Why is it when you think things are just trucking along great, then someone or something tries to tear you down?  Is it the devil?  Probably.  But, the way I look at it is that I must be doing what the Lord wants me to do or else I wouldn't be getting this criticism.  That sounds like the better answer, so I'm sticking with that.  I know the Lord is in control of every situation.  Nothing happens in life that He is not in control over.  This past weekend, I found out just how in control God is in my life.

On Saturday, I found out some troubling information that almost rocked me to my core.  Someone had been talking "smack" about Chad and I going through with the adoption process.  Now, normally things don't get to me.....but I'll just tell you now, I must be getting into that "mommy mode" thing already because I was livid!  Not only was the person speaking about me, they were speaking about my child (or at least my prospective child).  It hurt me first because I am adopted.  It made me think that this person must not like adoption!  Then, I realized.....jealousy!  That green-eyed monster! Secondly, it hurt me that there are actually people out there who don't want others to be happy.....gasp!  After that horrifying revelation...the Lord showed me how He is still in control.

Sunday morning rolls around and we are sitting in church service.  I knew our pastor, Ricky Stone, was about to leave for a trip to the Holy Land on Monday.  Well, he starts to talk about going over to see where the Lord walked and about the other places he will be visiting.  I knew what was coming before he said it.  The mysterious thing is that Chad knew about it also but neither of us had said anything to each other about it.  Ricky begins with talking about going to visit the Wailing Wall and how he knows that God can hear our prayers wherever we are no matter if we are in the Holy Land or if we are in Disneyland (he didn't say Disneyland, I added that myself).  But, the Wailing Wall is believed to be a place where people visit to say special prayers and leave messages tucked in the wall for God. At that point....my heart began to pound and I could feel a lump coming up in my throat.  God is in control and He knew that at that moment I needed to hear from Him that we are doing the right thing in our lives by adopting.  Ricky continued with letting the church know that if any of us wanted to write down a prayer, he would make certain that it made its way to the Wailing Wall for the Lord to hear.  I felt like someone had just covered me with a warm blanket......I knew it was the Lord telling me that everything will be alright and that I should rely on Him and look to Him for strength and no one else.  So, Sunday afternoon Chad and I wrote a prayer on a little piece of paper.  We took it back to church Sunday night to give to Ricky.  He promised us he would say a special prayer over the paper as he placed it in the Wailing Wall.